So I had a friend ask me why I have decided to share my life on a public domain where everyone can have access to my thoughts and experiences instead of keeping my essays in my journal locked away in a drawer somewhere. And I thought that would be a really great introduction to publish with the website when I share it with the world. By world I mean everyone not just in my inner-ish circle. This has been my procrastination project for the last couple of months and I’ve loved every second of it.
Anyways so a little context, I started my academic year after a summer of self discovery with a blank slate starting afresh. I threw myself in my extracurriculars which included a lot of creative and organisational work for the societies I was a part of. Being the nerd I am, of course I loved every second of it. I hit the ground running at the freshers fair in September haggling people in the nicest possible way into to buy the membership for my society. One time a friend called me “a walking propaganda”, and I have to say she is absolutely correct. But anyways I guess I was so into it because I am an extremely passionate person. It might just be the ADHD; I will hyper fixate on the things I like.
I can’t just merely enjoy something if I like something it will take over my entire life. I will not be able to shut up about it because I am excited to talk about it. It might appear that I have an ostentatious sense of self importance because I dare imagine there might be people who are interested in knowing what I have to say, but there are. I have stopped doing that thing where under the guise of humility I don’t celebrate myself. If we don’t love and celebrate ourselves how can we expect anyone else to? And please don’t say you don’t need anyone to do that for you because as humans we are inherently programmed to want to be wanted.
If you are sat here rolling your eyes at how cheesy I sound and have in fact uncovered the secret to being unbothered please do share. But I digress, a couple of years prior I had wanted to start a blog for talking about books because I seem to have a lot of opinions on them however it didn’t feel like I had enough experience to run a blog so I abandoned that idea. Fast forward to December 2022, I am back home for Christmas having a really hard time with myself I needed something to invest my energy into.
Now since the last time I had attempted to build a blog, I had my “summer of self discovery” and a renewed sense of self confidence (I will definitely talk more about this later) where failure didn’t actually scare me anymore. So what if I didn’t know how to work a website? I will learn. It is surely not rocket science. Right? Unless it is then I will just get my aerospace engineer friends to throw me a bone. But luckily for all of you, I am really good at figuring things out and very soon into the new year Love Yourself, Nashrah xo born.
This is a place for me to talk about the things or the people I love and fortunately for you I also love talking so there is going be a lot for you to enjoy. Often times YouTubers say they started their YouTube channel because they were lonely and didn’t have anyone to talk about. I wouldn’t say that is the case for me, because I wouldn’t consider myself lonely or alone in this particular stage in my life where I decided to start journaling on the internet, my reason for this is to make people feel less lonely. I have this gift where I have zero inhibitions about talking about the uncomfortable things and potentially controversial things simply because I want to know about people’s perspective. Since being to therapy, I no longer clutch my trauma close to my heart offering it up as excuses whenever I get called out. (Again more on that later)
So if my experiences can comfort someone else, who might not be so able to openly seek comfort through conversation but can do so on from here, I think that would be completely worth be putting my life up on the internet where it will live forever. But I am not doing this for anyone else truly but myself. I process my thoughts through writing. You might or might not know that paragraphs are my preferred method of texting and this is just more of that. I am composing my essays like I would a text to a friend just about my thoughts and feelings at that point in time about whatever it might be that I am going through. Which is also where the name came from. I am signing it off by telling you to love yourself but when I read it back it serves a reminder for me too.
Which is really important because I spent a huge portion of the last decade self loathing. I am sure you will get to hear all about it later. But just house keeping before we get started. Hey! Welcome! Thank you for being here and being interested enough about hearing what I have to say, it is really good for my ego. Please be prepared to be uncomfortable, it might get a little dark here so we are going laugh through the tunnels of doom and despair with a little help from Taylor Swift. So if you can’t tolerate those two things now is your time to get off this train.
Like aforementioned, these are my experiences written from my perspective. I am never trying to paint the other person as the villain. I believe I am really careful with my wording but if you ever think something might be written about you, I wouldn’t use this as a method to communicate with you. If I have something to say specifically about someone I will always address it with them. But please do reach out. Now that we have gotten that out of the way, there is going to be a lot of books and Taylor Swift (yes I know I have said it once already but I meant it), maybe movies and tv shows and friends and boyfriends and corporate struggles (when I do manage to find a job hopefully pray for me) and me going through life and taking you all with me!!
Oh one last thing before you wander off to snoop around the site if you see any typos or grammatical errors please for the life of god flag them. Typos do really agitate me but this is a one woman show so I am bound to miss them every once in a while.
Love Yourself,
Nashrah xo
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